God Bless Mrs. Riggin for teaching me to type without looking if I'm doing okay because I can't see either the keyboard or the monitor screen. I've been 'helped' by an optometrist. I think perhaps he is using the new presidential version of Webster's. If you mean 'help' in the sense that 'I'm doing what I want to' then he's done good. If you mean 'help' as in 'providing vision' then he's definitely lost his memory.
I've worn contact lenses since I was 17, which is not for public consumption exactly how many years ago. Suffice it to say it's long enough that I'm qualified in 'lens-speak'.
And right now they are saying..."Where'd everybody go???"
When first fitted and freed from the strain of squinting (for I'd never don those horrible cat eye things my mother purchased for me in public), I wore the only thing available at the time, which were the hard lenses. If you are not qualified in this area, they are basically rigid pieces of plastic shaped just so to reshape your eye to perform as God intended.
I was blessed with a miracle. Not only could I see, but I never had a second's trouble with them, other than driving out of the parking lot of the eye doctor and about six feet later driving into the parking lot of the store next door to get sunglasses. I wasn't used to having my eyes so wide open.
The hard lenses were sturdy, you could pop them out if they were dirty and suck them clean, spit on them and pop them back in. Optometrists from all over the world are now gasping and rending their clothes...I've admitted to a bacterial sin...but sometimes you just had no choice and the option was there. *Disclaimer* You should not try this at home, but it worked for me.
I wore these lenses (or replacements of course) til a few years ago when an optometrist decided "hard lenses are not healthy. Soft lenses are the way to go." Now, I'm an open minded sort and willing to defer to the judgment of those who are likely still paying off student loans so I saw no problem. It was their 'great deal' in the advertisement that drew me there, I'm all for something better at a lower price.
Except I couldn't see.
They insisted I could.
The 'great deal' didn't apply to these lenses.
Fine print, you know.
Now...I'm sitting there and can't read anything but the big E and they say... oh nevermind....if I think about that again, my eye will start twitching. It's just that when you KNOW you can't read a book or see a street sign that something is wrong. But this would require their admission that they made a mistake. "I must admit to an inappropriate examination" This is apparently not done in optometry circles. The blame was laid on me...I must have misread the charts in my examination. Sure, I just guessed at the letters like I was taking a standardized test and wanted to pass. So, they make new lenses. I see less than before.
Several 'discussions' and a refund later I leave, feeling my way to the door of another optometrist. I chose this one for one reason. Insurance. I called them to make the appointment, telling them my dilemma, how I wanted hard lenses and did they take my insurance?? Why sure, all of the above, we aim to please.
After being examined they fitted me with ... you guessed it ... soft lenses. I explained to them that it wouldn't fly, I'd been there, done that, returned the T-shirt. Their reply? "Try them for a week and you'll see, no pun intended. Oh, by the way.... we made a mistake, we don't take your insurance."
A week later I returned, refunded and brailled my way to my old faithful optometrist who had always fitted me with hard lenses and who had always told me outright my insurance was worthless there. God love Blue Cross huh?
They wanted to fit me with soft lenses.
As blood filled the whites of my eyes in my frustration they acquiesced and agreed to try a 'gas permeable', sort of a middle of the road between the two.
Properly fitted, I can see a thousand miles away, but had to go buy a pair of those drug store reading glasses to wear OVER the contacts to read. Am I the only one missing something here? Is there a purpose being defeated?
It was my age, he said.
Gee thanks, just slap me up aside the head with used DependsŪ.
They quickly became scratched and dull and had to be replaced far more often than the hard style lenses. They became difficult to remove, uncomfortable to wear, as well as impossible to see through the permanent smudges.
This summer I said "Enough!" I made an appointment for glasses, scrounged in the closet and found an old hard pair of contacts from gosh only knows what year, soaked them in solution and popped them in. I hadn't seen so well in years. Far away, close up...and so so comfortable.
To his credit my optometrist said there wasn't a thing wrong with the old lenses, that as far as he could see I was doing fine with them and there was no reason to spend money on new ones. He fitted me for glasses for the 'off times' and on my merry way I went.
Blindly of course, since I can't see with the new glasses to read, which is why I wanted them. I can't curl up in the bed with a good book, I can't park in front of my computer and surf with them on. I feel like I'm playing 'Wheel of Fortune', guessing the letters. It's at least good practice for when I want to fake another eye examination.
So, back I go.
Can you believe they fit me with the gas perms again? And I wear the drug store glasses over them to read. And they hurt. And I feel like I'm living some bizarre Outer Limits scene over and over again. And MAYBE they can fit me with glasses. And they appreciated the challenge I presented to them.
Maybe I should have appreciated carrots more when I was growing up. Really, I'm not trying to be difficult, I just want to see without difficulty.
If only Ed McMahon would stop lying to me I could afford that surgery that allows you to see without aids. If only Ed didn't subscribe to the presidential version of Websters...."If you mean 'you are a winner' as in 'you are a winner of some junk mail' then 'yes, you are a winner', but if you mean 'you are a winner of our rip off any fool stupid enough to believe the crap we toss at you magazine subscription contest', then 'no you are doomed to spend the rest of your life staring at the big E on the eye chart'...
Eye'll sEe about that!