By all rights I should just stop right here and not say another word. But then again this is me, isn't it?
I am wonderfully blessed with an iron kidney connected to an equally trenchant bladder. For this reason I am able to spare myself many forays into these vile ventures.
But when I go I am amazed and disgusted at how people seem to think simply because it's not their bathroom that they can commit all sorts of loathsome acts. My husband used to try to tell me that women's bathrooms were worse than men's. But there have been times that the women's bathrooms were all full and I've used the men's. They don't seem to mind, and I quickly was able to put this fairy tale to rest. Nasty knows no gender.
Why is it that it's okay to toss anything and everything down the john, to leave it unflushed, to toss paper towels and toilet tissue on the floor and to write on the walls? Don't you realize you may have to come back in there yourself someday? Is it okay for me to come to your house and do this?
And, given the fact that we know the general population seems to be lazily filthy, I fault the proprietors that house these 'facilities'. They should not offer restrooms if they are not going to police them and maintain them. I'm sorry they have to do it, but if they can't adequately staff then they may as well just duct tape right over the 'pointers' and 'setters' and close them down.
I've pretty much got the system down to minimize my chances of dying from bubonic plague after a visit to one of these establishments. I've got those little 'seat covers' and finding myself without can easily use layers of tissue. There's no need to raise your size 18 butt up off the john when you can't aim into that 8 by 10 oval. Perhaps you should visit the men's room and practice in a urinal if this is your modus urinus.
Then you use your foot and shove the tissues in, flush with your foot and leave. All's well and ready for the next inhabitant. You don't have to kick the tissue in the floor and just leave. What is it, by not flushing you're marking your territory? My dog is cleaner.
In order to wash my hands I must be obsessive-compulsive. I go to the sink and turn on the water... take soap and rub hands together then rinse. I can't turn off the water because I touched the faucet before I washed my hands... I now leave the water running, use my forearm to dispense a towel (because the person before me might have not washed her hands but gotten a towel to blow her nose)... make a mental note to wash my shirt... dry my hands... use the towel to turn off the water... DON''T THROW THE TOWEL AWAY because now I have the problem of the doorknob. I use the towel to open the door and then throw the towel away outside of the bathroom.
If you feel like an idiot carrying a wet paper towel in your hands after leaving the bathroom, you can do what I do... stick it to the bottom of your shoe... then people just laugh at you instead of getting a mental image of you in the bathroom!
Then again, we have to hope the staff has bothered to keep the towel holder full. Of course we have to hope there ARE towel holders to fill. What's this with these blowers? Have you EVER completely dried your hands with one of them? No, you try, then you go to a stall, grab some tissue to finish the job with, and toss it on the floor.....
Of course if all this is too much trouble...please hold it in til you get home! There's a lot of moms out there with little kids who can't. They're tired of taking them in the bushes and the parking lots because of the ignorant filthy adults who should know better.
I'd like to see the violators be forced to live in there for a week, using the blackboard installed for graffiti writers, chalking 100 times, "I will not pee on the seat".
Maybe they should charge a security deposit to go in, wire the seats so they shock you if you get them wet, or make the doors stay locked til the john is flushed.
Discharged upon discharge, flush for freedom...