You'll never convince me that there's not an honest to goodness flesh and blood person inside a vending machine. He's not a nice person, but he's in there. Pardon the gender bias, but it seems like a macho thing to sit inside metal boxes and do creatively devious things to tired, hungry, thirsty unsuspecting individuals.
I've especially got a problem with motel vending machines. Considering what they charge for a room, why must they further gouge you by demanding nearly a dollar for a handful of more than likely stale potato chips, or a warm soda or a shrunken version of a candy bar? We all know they pay the Pepsi guy the same as anyone else. The Super Stop has sodas for 50 cents, the gas station across the street has them for 65 cents, and the motel has them for as much as a dollar.... they are all making money. Paying for convenience is one thing, paying through the nose is another. There's something really wrong when sodas from an Econo Lodge cost less than from a Ramada Inn. Pepsi is Pepsi right? There's not a higher class of fizz is there? Nah, just a higher class of rip-off. Ah, but this is fodder for another rant.
Once you swallow the robbery of it all, then you must OBEY THE RULES! If it wants exact change, there's no discussion. If you don't have it, it will gladly keep the extra. This is where 'maintenance' enters the picture. If you're going to have a vending machine at your establishment, take care of it. Don't let all the Nestea run out, don't let the change run out. It's just another part of your business, like stocking the shelves. And if it takes my money and gives me nothing at all in return, don't look at me as if I've tried to lie, cheat and steal your damn 65 cents when I come tell you. Do you really think a person can make a living traversing the country on earnings from vending machine refunds??
Is there anything pickier than the dollar bill slot? It must be pristine, freshly minted, not a hair out of place on George for it to accept said buckage. There's little more irritating to your nerves than the sound that guy living in there makes when he shoves your dollar back. In...out...in...out! Next time it happens put your ear up close to it, you'll hear the maniac giggle. The guy's nearly orgasmic with glee.
Then there's the ones that take your money, and you push the correct buttons, salivating at the thought of that Almond Joy. Whirrrrrrrrrr...... Hello?? There was a "Whirrrrrrrrrr" and no "Fwop!" It's supposed to go "WhirrrrrrrrrrFwop!" You can't have the "Whirrrrrrrrrr" and no "Fwop!" Unless.....You lower your gaze. There is the candy bar, dangling, caught, imprisioned. Is it your imagination or does the machine seem to almost glow a little brighter? *Cue maniac giggle*
Recently I was at a motel, I wanted animal crackers. I love animal crackers. I craved animal crackers. They were F7. I put in my 85 cents...I know I know...cravings are my financial ruin...and hit F7. "Please make another selection" Of course I must have punched it wrong, after all there was the little blue bag just sitting there waiting for me. "Hey Sue Old Gal!" F7, "Please make another selection" F7, "Please make another selection", F7, "Please make another selection" No amount of cursing, banging, shaking or cajoling would net me anything but those no taste, way past crispy fake cream colored with #37 red dye centered cookies.
And apparently the change return lever is for aesthetic purposes only...